It's clear that I make no attempt to mask my views on feminism; I am not a fan of the term itself and some of its recent concepts - yet, seemingly, I can't stop talking about it regardless! I don't believe in women supremacy or that we should encourage a 'matriarchy' to compensate for female power in a once 'mans-world'. I believe in equal rights. Both men and women should remain on an equal level, with equal rights, equal opportunities and equal treatment -just as it applies to different religions, race and sexuality. However, some contemporary feminists have adopted extreme ideologies concerning women's rights, and it is leaving women feeling as if they have to conform to certain standards in order to reflect on their gender in 'the right way'. This could be seen as continuation of women oppression - from conforming to the role as an "objectified, inferior and subordinated" character to then having to conform to the "feisty, strong and cynical" follower of the feminist movement. When, in reality, we should be encouraging women to be who they want to be and do what they want - fill the role they wish to fill and refrain from conforming to anything instigated by someone else. Therefore, these are the following things a women should still be able to do (or not do) without being accused as being derogatory to their gender or diminishing the feminist movement: 1. Show off their body. It is true when people say "It's what's in the inside that matters", but if you are feeling good and confident in your own skin, then flaunt it, pose it and post it all over Instagram as much as you wish. It shows you are proud of the shell you came in or, if you're into your fitness and nutrition, the shell you have worked hard for, or if you're into body enhancements, the shell you paid a lot of money for! Showing it off is not promoting a false representation of what a female body must look like nor is it necessarily degrading other women, but it is embracing the idea that we all come in different shapes and sizes, and feeling confident on the outside does masses for your confidence on the inside. 2. Be with or sleep with whoever the hell they want. As an avid reader and studier of literature, concerning both historical and cultural texts, I have noticed that female repression is a common theme - whether enforced by patriarchal or religious standards. And a part of this is sexual repression - double standards between genders, inability to be in control of finding your own partners and relationships, and suffering social condemnation for going against these "norms". But even concerning modern day, referring mainly to our UK society, a female remains to be socially persecuted or branded with derogatory terms (such as "slut" or "whore") if they have had multiple relationships or sexual partners. I'm not promoting infidelity or anything polygamous by saying this, but I feel that women should have sexual freedom (as long as it is safe and not harming anyone in the process). Nowadays, having one partner for life or having sex purely to conceive is a very dated value - people fall in and out of love as they age and gain more experience, and people have the odd meaningless sexual encounters just out of desire, and well, fun! I don't believe that women who have had multiple sexual relationships or partners are doing anything to counteract female empowerment, but they are encouraging a form of freedom and enjoyment which was not accessible to them throughout history. 3. Being a domestic goddess. The cooking, cleaning and washing "stay-at-home-mom" who looks after the kids and waits for her husband to come home from a hard day at work - is it slightly adhering to the traditional role of a domesticated house-wife? Yes, but there's nothing wrong with that. Some women purely enjoy cleaning and cooking, and would rather not venture into the world of work - personally, it's not my ideal lifestyle, I am the scruffiest and most impractical female going, who hops from job to multiple jobs because I love working for my own money. But, women who genuinely are happy to fill this domestic role shouldn't be seen as repeating 'house-bound' history. 4. Adhere to the 'girly' stereotype. The media has had a stab at society, and it has said that young girls are almost forced into liking stereotypical girly things - all things pink, and fluffy, and pretty. A direct example would be the girls aisle in Toy Shops being filled with Barbies and toys related to fashion and hairdressing, or little girls picking up pink magazines with a freebie lipstick or a glittery pen - apparently, young girls are pushed straight from the womb into an idealistic, feminine bubble where they can only appreciate these girly things to be accepted, while young boys play in the dirt outside of it with their monster trucks and action figures. This is nothing but an exaggeration - as a child, yes, I hard a large collection of Barbies and Disney Princess dolls, but playing with Lego or collecting zoo animal figurines was hard to beat when it came to imaginative play. There's nothing wrong with a little girl wanting to play dress-up, and there's also nothing wrong with a girl wanting to get their dress caked in the mud - I feel it's merely a coincidence that young girls are associated with such pink and pretty things, and it's an exaggeration to say that, as a society, we force it upon them. 5. Caring for your appearance. They way in which certain women choose dress and present themselves has been attacked by feminists, and there has been also been undoubtedly-ineffective movements in coherence to this. To begin with, women are shamed for showing a lot of skin and asset, as it is deemed disrespectful, and for wearing a lot of makeup, as it is seen as demeaning the concept of embracing natural beauty; as a collaborative, it distracts the heterosexual male gaze and encourages them to sexualise us - in my opinion, that's their problem! And by ditching your bralets and bronzers, ladies, you are doing nothing but complying to male needs and surely that counteracts the idea of empowering women? They are allowed to be in control of themselves, just like men are allowed to be, and I fail to see how flaunting our assets and enhancing our beauty has anything to do with how we feel women should be treated. There's also this recent female "movement" of women refusing to wash their hair or shave their bodily hair, exposing it over social media as some sort of abstinence to pleasing the male gaze; through this, feminists are suggesting to other women that a strong declaration of female empowerment is not shaving your legs or armpits before a night out and posting pictures of your pubic hair coming out of the side your lingerie all over Instagram - it's a bit ludicrous. Of course, it is acceptable for women to go long periods of time without shaving and it's not something that has to be hidden - but there is also nothing wrong with a women keeping shaved and clean, as it's a matter of personal hygiene and keeping tidy at the end of day! So, come on ladies, there must be a more meaningful expression of female empowerment than this, right? 6. Comply with social conditioning. Many linguists and psychologists have pinned certain traits on women concerning they way they approach and deal with certain situations. Women are more compromising; they appeal to this 'up-talk' to refrain from confrontation or offending anyone; they prefer to take more elaborate, and extensive, means of talking or dealing with social situations; they like support, and to feel supported, and support others as their main objective in society is maintaining relationships. It would be far too broad to say this applies to every female - some women are just as blunt, independent and non-collaborative as men are socially-outlined to be. And some feminists feel women should be a bit more like that and oppose this social conditioning just so they are then not associated with weakness and inferiority. Yet, there is again no harm in complying with such network-building and collateral standards - it purely appeals to a woman's own personality and preference and they should be in control of that. 7. Actually, umm... like men. We aren't all man-eaters, I promise! Supporting women's rights and empowerment doesn't come with an essential or complementary side dish of hating and 'not needing men'. As a woman who appreciates how far us women have climbed the social stature in recent years with job opportunities, freedom and equal treatment, I still have no shame in saying my biggest idol is my dad... and Hugh Grant. For bringing me into this world, raising me and making me who I am today - my dad, not Hugh. And Hugh Grant for being my comical inspiration and all-time man crush. Whoever and whatever put us on this Earth put us on Earth as equals, and for one gender to flourish does not mean the other has to be disregarded and dominated. There we go. There is no ideal type of woman, and we shouldn't allow other women, let alone men, convince us that there is a certain role to conform to if the women's rights movement should remain to be effective. It's about equality, independence and individuality, and as an able society, we should embrace every type of image anyone chooses appeal to.
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So, the chicken came first because the egg had to be laid. But, for chicken to exist it would have had to be born from the egg? And so on, so on, so on. The same debate could be applied to a lot of scenarios: did the artist make the art, or did the art make the them an artist? Do we shape our opinions, or do our opinions shape us? Does the mirror show who we really are, or do we only see what we want to see when we look in that mirror? Yet, I find the most provocative chicken-egg debate now is surrounding the media’s influence on society, or maybe, society’s influence on the media.
The media has always been a part of our community; with developing communication comes a developing media - from printed scrolls to what is now streamed on our television and mobile phones, there has always been that underlying force providing us with surveillance. Its much like how we have always had our own views and opinions on certain affairs within our society, but along with the rapid advancement of the media has come partnered with the rapid growth of our confidence to voice and share our views – and with developments such as UGC (User Generated Content) with our blogs and our personalities we portray on Social Media, it is very difficult to argue against the idea that we are an active audience and the media has little influence on us. However. Our eagerness to argue that we, as a community of individuals, are the overriding force in society against the media is actually fuelling the argument that the media will always have an effect on us. We feel that to establish our importance and to have our opinion accepted, it must be presented through the media. And because of this dominant force, we remain to be an active audience, but in a thick bubble of hyperreality that hinders our ability to think past what the media is presenting us daily. So, does the media reflect society? Or does society reflect the media? Baudrillard says so. Through the media’s efforts to captivate and entertain a mass audience, certain identities and certain social situations are exaggerated to the point we have become unable to distinguish that difference between the simulacra and reality. This is common in the younger generation and celebrity culture; a devoted follower of the Kardashians then indulges in expensive brands, promoting curvy figures on Instagram and releasing sex tapes just so they can live the life of a hyped celebrity, but what are they missing? Undoubtedly, a lot – intrusive paparazzi and media figures, restricting lifestyles and pressures of filling a certain role to please the public. The spoilt, the “extra” and the glamourous we are exposed to when “Keeping up with the Kardashians” is a prime example of a simulacra us audiences choose to endorse. But whether the media is attempting to reflect society is ambiguous. I find it a somewhat terrifying thought that the cultivated representation of a mental illness is madness, instability and depravity, or that our News channels continuously roll the same theme of world terror and extremist violence, is subsequently painting a biased image of society and is making people fear what is outside their front door and corrupting their morals. All this is resulting in an increasing lack of social mobility among our budding generations as they fear to venture further into a “cruel” and “sacrificial” world. I would never go the extent of saying we are a wholly passive audience – I believe with the educational opportunities and benefitted upbringings most now have access to, especially in our culture, our innate sense of what is right and what is wrong is brought to book. But am I believer that the media is massively controlled by a one-sided, powerful force? Most definitely. Our open and progressive society has also remained to be a very materialistic one, that Marxist theory has proved to be exploitive on the behalf of the wealthy and prosperous. With cultural imperialism favouring especially the US as a media superpower, the working classes are submitted to false consciousness of capitalism; we are blindly accepting the “norms” of a society divided by wealth, class, race, religion, and so forth, and endorsing this inequality by consuming its media. The chicken or the egg debate will still remain unanswered for me, but I am confident that the media will always be a dominant force in our world as much as we want to believe we have progressed into a more empowered community or as much as we want to deny it. It’s difficult, especially with it being so prominent in most values of society (entertainment, education, forming and maintaining relationships, enforcing law), for it not to have such effect and it is it’s growing effect that we should be wary of. 3/17/2018 1 Comment The Bigger PictureDoes anyone else get into those moods where they feel like running away? Those moods where they feel like leaving behind all responsibilities and issues and starting fresh somewhere new? Maybe somewhere hotter? (especially with this 'beast from the east' blessing us with blue hands and black toes). Maybe somewhere more exciting? Maybe somewhere filled with more opportunity? But, most of all, somewhere different, where we are distracted from all those 'responsibilities' and 'issues' we once had. Like the teenage drama queen I am with raging hormones and mood swings, this last week has consisted of me being in that mood. Right now, I would love to run to a hot little Greek town and stroll around of the sight-sees in a bralet and shorts, marveling at my Polaroids drinking cocktails in quaint little outside bars. Care-free. Get me away. But, despite how much we anticipate running away and leaving all behind to be the most idealistic response to our little life traumas, leaving behind our issues doesn't make them no longer issues and running away from our responsibilities doesn't make them no longer our responsibilities. Below, is that little Greek place I would love to be right now, by the way... Why I feel 'low' sometimes: feeling 'detached' from my family (acting like a hormonal nuisance to my parents and feeling isolated from some of my siblings); feeling like an 'add-on' to my friendship group (worried that I'm an inconvenience or cautious over offending anyone with my verbal diarrhea); losing friends; insecurities over my appearance (not wanting to inflict harm on to my body but also not wanting to become unhappy with it again); feeling inadequate or 'second best' to people who seem to have lost interest the more they have gotten to know me; concerned that the University and the course I have chosen wasn't the best choice; worried about failing and getting stuck into some Sisyphean capitalist lifestyle where I work unhappily all my life just for my life to end with no worth. As you can see, they get a bit far-fetched. And most of the time, as I woefully sit here writing blogs and listening to depressing Snow Patrol songs, I just give myself excuses to feel sorry for myself. When I should just... Okay, so times are a bit stressful at the moment. The older and the wiser may read this and think that such 'problems' are so meaningless and minute - which is probably true. But they are like little building blocks which sometimes get a little too much. There's no doubt that getting a little stressed sometimes is possible at the age of 17. I'm at an age where I'm being pressured into thinking about what the heck I want to do with my life - trust me, I thought I knew, and that was until someone asked me to set it in stone. And it's not like any industry is easy to get into nowadays, despite what experience or qualifications you have. Living in our world is painted out to be like a competition and schools are preparing us for this 'survival of the fittest' game - who will go the furthest and who will have the mostest?
Now, that is a big responsibility and a justified reason to stress. So, with that in tail, everything else happening in your life will seem just as big and important, when it really isn't. Look at the bigger picture. I have been alive for 17 years - it was only 10 years ago I was playing with barbies and watching the Tinkerbell movies on repeat. I'm still young - and I should embrace it and make the most of it while I can, while my only responsibilities are my own happiness and health, not balancing mortgages and families when it comes to it. In the bigger picture: people's opinions of me, and whether they choose to like me or not, really doesn't matter. Popularity and being 'liked' has no effect on 17 years worth of ambition and aspirations. At the end of the day, it is when I'm feeling most confident and refreshed that I don't care what people think of me or what I do. I'm aware I can be a moody bastard, who's a little arrogant and speaks her mind and strongly stands for what I believe in. So, why should I use 'not being liked' as a reason to be low when I am feeling low when I wouldn't lose time dwelling on it when I'm feeling most positive? In the bigger picture: losing motivation is a common thing, but there's "I can't be bothered to go to the gym tonight", then there is "I give up." In this bigger picture, if in the situation where I didn't quite achieve what I hoped to, I would much rather be in that situation knowing I tried my hardest and kept at it, and didn't just waste years and years of endless dreaming and ambition, instead of knowing that I gave up and essentially not knowing where I could have ended up. At least then I can justify where I have ended up, and come to the conclusion that that certain life path wasn't quite for me and move onto bigger and better things. In the bigger picture: those reasons to be happy which you waited to be chucked at you will never make you feel as fulfilled, only when you find yourself reasons to be happy will you be at your best. Much like with motivation - it's abstract, it's not a physical thing you can touch and see. Hypothetically, it's impossible to 'look for' as well is it impossible for it to be given to you. It's a mindset which something particular creates for you, and only you can determine what those particular things are - no one else. In the bigger picture: get a grip. Have your cry and get over it. Stop trying to give yourself reasons for feeling low - just accept and move on. Embrace youth while you're healthy and free. Make your responsibilities to yourself and your own mentality. Do what you have to do to make sure you're in the best and most well-deserved place possible. Make sure you realise that, despite what people tell you, your life does not have to go down one chosen path, and that you may come across many different paths along the way to guide you in all sorts of different places. Make the only place you want to run to the best future for yourself. And most importantly, stay happy, stay healthy and stay motivated. And cheer up, it might never happen. Why I should feel happy all the time: I have family members who support me and always there for me despite my decisions; I have a closely-knitted friendship group with no dramas and we all click and get on so well; I know who the genuine people are in my life; I am soon going somewhere I love and where know I will be happy doing something I enjoy and I am good at; I am slowly progressing into a much healthier mentality and I am no longer falling into unhealthy habits, treating my body the way it deserves to be treated; I have stamina and am verbally strong, so I pray to god for anyone who gets in my way. Jem xx 3/10/2018 2 Comments International Women's DayThursday 8th March. International Women’s Day. A day celebrated by women and men all over the world, to appreciate female achievements throughout history and across the globe. On this day, we hold our glasses up to a gender, which was once considered the subordinate, the insignificant and powerless, who have made such remarkable advancements in social, economic, cultural and political equality in society. There is no doubt that such societal amelioration couldn't have been as effectively achieved without certain members in our community, both historical and modern, striving to make a change and standing strong for what they believe in. The Suffragettes, and their both peaceful and radical movements towards achieving a woman's right to vote. Eleanor Roosevelt, taking advantage of her title as First Lady to take inspiring actions on female equality in the working environment - giving them a stronger voice and security in our Capitalist society. Maya Angelou, using her persona as an African-American female and her powerful voice as a writer to attack both racial and gender discrimination. The list could go on and on, and I hope more and more activists can be added, because although (especially in our country) women have reached a respectable equal place in society and have been in such a place for some time now, other cultures in the World have not quite reached the same outcome. Therefore, I am in complete support of dedicating this day to female empowerment to both appreciate all the hard work orchestrated by certain figures since the First Wave Feminist movement and to give hope to women around the World who we have not quite reached out to. And to support this day, I have seen all over social media, people honouring the women they are most inspired by: their mothers, their friends, their partners, their role models and mentors - and it's refreshing to see people appreciating those outside of the 'media's eye' and the celebrity campaigning, because the little personal acts of female empowerment are just as important as the global ones. So, let me briefly do the same, and honour the following women in my life: my mother, both my nannas, my sisters and my friends, who each support me and keep me grounded in their own unique ways - whether through providing me with motivation, reasons to smile, reasons to laugh and means to have ambition. However, it is not only these women in my life that make me the woman I am today. And brings me on to the main point of this article I am writing, and that is that men should also be included in the celebrations and appreciations on International Women's Day.
I refrain from digressing into too much of a political rant over who I would normally refer to as "Feminazis" or the disciplinary Divas that some modern day feminists shape themselves as, critiquing men and turning an equal society in a Matriarchy (which is just as poisonous as our once Patriarchy). But, I do feel that men seem to be getting the brunt of some feminist movements that have been occurring recently. Since feminism has become such an important topic in society, it has also become equally as prominent in the school curriculum (through studying feminist literary texts, social constructs of genders and the female role in the media) and it makes me feel uncomfortable to witness a male feel uncomfortable when such topics are brought up (purely out of fear of having an opinion on it in case of extremist-female accusations). Although historically seen as the most dominant gender, having most control over and responsibility for subverting the female role, such societal amelioration since has caused men to support female empowerment as well. Real and effective feminism is not about women superiority and acting revengeful towards men, but it is about equal rights and opportunities for both genders - allowing both to have voice. And because of this, I feel it is not right for a man to feel inadequate and uncomfortable when it comes to feminism. Those in society who maintain traditional, discriminatory values are not only male, but females as well - some even that mask themselves as feminists, but among their extremist ideals, are producing dangerous sets of values that restrict women of particular identities and making certain roles in our community feel out of place (for example, Germaine Greer and her trans-phobia, and her strong opinions on contraception which could be seen as limiting women of their sexual freedom). If we are going to celebrate these famous feminist figures on International Women's Day, we should then be celebrating the male famous figures that also have had their contribution to female empowerment - as they prove you don't have to be a woman to be a feminist. Prince Harry, "When women are empowered, they immeasurably improve the lives of everyone around them - their families, their communities, and their countries. This is not just about women, we men need to recognize the part we play too. Real men treat women with dignity and give them the respect they deserve." Will Smith, giving his daughter identity and control over her own body from a young age, teaching her to grow up knowing that the only person in charge of her is herself. Ashton Kutcher, addressing the importance of sexual freedom and confidence among women outside of reproductive needs. Barack Obama, supporting the Times Up campaign and refusing to give up the fight against pay discrimination. And again, the list goes on. I've written this article from a reasonably feminist perspective, although (like said before) I identify myself as more of a equalist (which I feel has a broader approach to equality, between genders, race, sexuality etc.) So, I am about to add some controversy to the media feed surrounding International Women's Day and honour the male figures in my life who have also made me the woman I am today: my father (who has taught me the importance of having a strong work ethic and being independent and has mostly encouraged me to embrace who I am and what I believe in), both of my grandfathers (who have also supported me and showed me strong paternal love), my friends (who prove that a valuable relationship between a man and a woman does not have to be based on romance) and even my brother (who has showed me there is nothing wrong with vanity and self-confidence, and that sometimes you do just have to be a dickhead to get things done.) So, both men and women should be encouraged to celebrate such an anticipated day, because, as a united and equal force, we are much more stronger and effective. |
Jem DuttonStudent Blogger. Archives
April 2018
CategoriesAll Current Affairs Lifestyle Narrative Journalism Opinion Articles Personal |