3/17/2018 1 Comment The Bigger PictureDoes anyone else get into those moods where they feel like running away? Those moods where they feel like leaving behind all responsibilities and issues and starting fresh somewhere new? Maybe somewhere hotter? (especially with this 'beast from the east' blessing us with blue hands and black toes). Maybe somewhere more exciting? Maybe somewhere filled with more opportunity? But, most of all, somewhere different, where we are distracted from all those 'responsibilities' and 'issues' we once had. Like the teenage drama queen I am with raging hormones and mood swings, this last week has consisted of me being in that mood. Right now, I would love to run to a hot little Greek town and stroll around of the sight-sees in a bralet and shorts, marveling at my Polaroids drinking cocktails in quaint little outside bars. Care-free. Get me away. But, despite how much we anticipate running away and leaving all behind to be the most idealistic response to our little life traumas, leaving behind our issues doesn't make them no longer issues and running away from our responsibilities doesn't make them no longer our responsibilities. Below, is that little Greek place I would love to be right now, by the way... Why I feel 'low' sometimes: feeling 'detached' from my family (acting like a hormonal nuisance to my parents and feeling isolated from some of my siblings); feeling like an 'add-on' to my friendship group (worried that I'm an inconvenience or cautious over offending anyone with my verbal diarrhea); losing friends; insecurities over my appearance (not wanting to inflict harm on to my body but also not wanting to become unhappy with it again); feeling inadequate or 'second best' to people who seem to have lost interest the more they have gotten to know me; concerned that the University and the course I have chosen wasn't the best choice; worried about failing and getting stuck into some Sisyphean capitalist lifestyle where I work unhappily all my life just for my life to end with no worth. As you can see, they get a bit far-fetched. And most of the time, as I woefully sit here writing blogs and listening to depressing Snow Patrol songs, I just give myself excuses to feel sorry for myself. When I should just... Okay, so times are a bit stressful at the moment. The older and the wiser may read this and think that such 'problems' are so meaningless and minute - which is probably true. But they are like little building blocks which sometimes get a little too much. There's no doubt that getting a little stressed sometimes is possible at the age of 17. I'm at an age where I'm being pressured into thinking about what the heck I want to do with my life - trust me, I thought I knew, and that was until someone asked me to set it in stone. And it's not like any industry is easy to get into nowadays, despite what experience or qualifications you have. Living in our world is painted out to be like a competition and schools are preparing us for this 'survival of the fittest' game - who will go the furthest and who will have the mostest?
Now, that is a big responsibility and a justified reason to stress. So, with that in tail, everything else happening in your life will seem just as big and important, when it really isn't. Look at the bigger picture. I have been alive for 17 years - it was only 10 years ago I was playing with barbies and watching the Tinkerbell movies on repeat. I'm still young - and I should embrace it and make the most of it while I can, while my only responsibilities are my own happiness and health, not balancing mortgages and families when it comes to it. In the bigger picture: people's opinions of me, and whether they choose to like me or not, really doesn't matter. Popularity and being 'liked' has no effect on 17 years worth of ambition and aspirations. At the end of the day, it is when I'm feeling most confident and refreshed that I don't care what people think of me or what I do. I'm aware I can be a moody bastard, who's a little arrogant and speaks her mind and strongly stands for what I believe in. So, why should I use 'not being liked' as a reason to be low when I am feeling low when I wouldn't lose time dwelling on it when I'm feeling most positive? In the bigger picture: losing motivation is a common thing, but there's "I can't be bothered to go to the gym tonight", then there is "I give up." In this bigger picture, if in the situation where I didn't quite achieve what I hoped to, I would much rather be in that situation knowing I tried my hardest and kept at it, and didn't just waste years and years of endless dreaming and ambition, instead of knowing that I gave up and essentially not knowing where I could have ended up. At least then I can justify where I have ended up, and come to the conclusion that that certain life path wasn't quite for me and move onto bigger and better things. In the bigger picture: those reasons to be happy which you waited to be chucked at you will never make you feel as fulfilled, only when you find yourself reasons to be happy will you be at your best. Much like with motivation - it's abstract, it's not a physical thing you can touch and see. Hypothetically, it's impossible to 'look for' as well is it impossible for it to be given to you. It's a mindset which something particular creates for you, and only you can determine what those particular things are - no one else. In the bigger picture: get a grip. Have your cry and get over it. Stop trying to give yourself reasons for feeling low - just accept and move on. Embrace youth while you're healthy and free. Make your responsibilities to yourself and your own mentality. Do what you have to do to make sure you're in the best and most well-deserved place possible. Make sure you realise that, despite what people tell you, your life does not have to go down one chosen path, and that you may come across many different paths along the way to guide you in all sorts of different places. Make the only place you want to run to the best future for yourself. And most importantly, stay happy, stay healthy and stay motivated. And cheer up, it might never happen. Why I should feel happy all the time: I have family members who support me and always there for me despite my decisions; I have a closely-knitted friendship group with no dramas and we all click and get on so well; I know who the genuine people are in my life; I am soon going somewhere I love and where know I will be happy doing something I enjoy and I am good at; I am slowly progressing into a much healthier mentality and I am no longer falling into unhealthy habits, treating my body the way it deserves to be treated; I have stamina and am verbally strong, so I pray to god for anyone who gets in my way. Jem xx
1 Comment
Amber
3/18/2018 01:56:59 pm
Inspiring:)
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Jem DuttonStudent Blogger. Archives
April 2018
CategoriesAll Current Affairs Lifestyle Narrative Journalism Opinion Articles Personal |