4/13/2018 0 Comments Our happy, little distractions..."STARVE your distractions. FEED your focus."
But sometimes, we need to feed our distractions to get into the habit of focusing on the right things, right? It is recommended to those in recovery (whether from an unhealthy physical or mental state) that they find ways to distract themselves, so whenever they do something they used to restrict themselves from doing or haven't done in a while for certain personal reasons, they don't fall into the unhealthy habit of worrying and feeling guilty for stepping out of that comfort zone. Regardless, it's safe to say that everyone has, or will have, those odd reoccurring intrusive thoughts or phases of emotional struggle that we want to stop thinking about as much as possible. That ideal scenario - "Ooh that's an odd thought. I'll stop thinking about that now..." and the thought blissfully disappears into oblivion and never returns - very rarely, if at all, happens. You should never dwell on a thought, nor should you try and ignore it through some limp way - I used to just go and get into bed and try to sleep it off, resulting in a predictable night of tossing and turning and getting absolutely nowhere. So, in this occasion, it's effective to find a way of distracting yourself, but not through ineffective ways of carrying on with your daily routine of making your lunch and sitting in front of the television for an hour or two. You have got to find your own meaningful, yet accessible, methods that can just gradually drain those thoughts away. But, firstly,... ALWAYS ACKNOWLEDGE THE THOUGHT. Ignoring those unpleasant and unhealthy thoughts is just as ineffective as dwelling on them for hours. Allow yourself at around five minutes a day (if the thought comes to you daily) to think about it: address why and how you came to think of such a thing. Ask yourself the following things: what contributed to this thought coming into my head? Why am I thinking such a thing? And then conflict your thoughts: what is the importance behind what I'm thinking? Will there be any good coming out of me thinking such things? And then... DIMINISH THE THOUGHT. DISTRACT YOURSELF. There are many ways one could find to distract themselves - some will work more for effectively for certain people than others. Try as many different ways as you can, and alternate between them to stop you from falling into a cycle of repeating the same old routine and thinking about as to why you're doing that certain activity (it is important to normalize it as much as possible - don't make it too apparent to yourself that you are purposely trying to distract yourself.) 1. Watch an intelligent film/ read an intelligent book. By intelligent, I don't necessarily mean reading a dictionary or a study devised by some famous academic (but if that's what you're into, go ahead), but I do mean a particular genre of film/book that engages your brain and intellect. For myself, it would be crime dramas - I used to watch a lot of television detective series such as Whitechapel or Broadchurch; now, I have started watching the Robert Langdon films, so The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, which require a lot of focus and a detachment from your mobile phone throughout in order to follow the plot consistently. I also intend to read the Dan Brown books the films are based on once I am relieved of A Level distraction. So, whether it is through hard-hitting films or something like television documentaries (ironically, I find the more morbid, the better), you are focusing on something which needs far more attention that insignificant little thought. 2. Surround yourself with cheery, friendly faces. Having company is an effective distraction. So, I like to try and see my friends as much as possible and not always within the dreary school environment. And because I'm the only minor 17 year old in the group, at weekends it can be quite difficult make plans. But, when I am around my friends, I am around a bunch of people who are very unlikely to be having those same particular thoughts as me. And like that, I am around a bunch of fresh new thoughts and conversation and laughs that aid as the perfect distraction from what was bothering me before. Same goes with seeing a family member you haven't seen for a while, or meeting new people by joining a club or venturing somewhere new. 3. Do what you have to do. Getting those necessary things done - practically distracting yourself as well as ticking off your to-do-list. At the moment, my life is pretty much revise revise revise! and luckily for me, there's always going to be some form of revision to do, so I will always have that back-up plan for when I'm bored and need to place my focus elsewhere. By familiarising yourself with the urgency of your deadlines, or chore to get the washing done, or need to take the dog for a walk, you are setting yourself into your normal daily routine and distracting yourself should come naturally. 4. Tidy and clean. From the mouth of probably one of the untidiest and unorganised human beings that has ever walked this planet, I can safely say tidying and "sorting your shit out" really does do the trick when trying to fend off those stubborn thoughts. When I'm feeling a bit anxious or stressed or even frustrated, I will go and tidy my room (which will be a guaranteed mess and floor-drobe) or reorgansie my wardrobe. Or after I've eaten, I will wash up and tidy the kitchen so I am refraining from thinking too much about the amount or what I have eaten. Subsequently, leaving yourself in a tidy and clean environment has been proven to have tremendous effects on your psychological health; the more accessible and less cluttered a room is, the less stressed and frustrated you are likely to feel. Tidy and clean to keep your mind keen. 5. Greet your past. There is many sayings that you shouldn't let your past "steal your present" or that you can't "start the next chapter if you keep rereading the last one" and these are true - there is little point in dwelling on bad aspects of your past. But, the past also holds amazing memories that you are living your life to make, and the purpose behind these happy memories are revisiting them and reminiscing the thoughts and feelings you had at that time. I revisit my past by looking through old photo albums with my family and laughing at how ridiculously my mum dressed me or how demonic my eyes looked thanks to disposable cameras. This year, I have decided to make a scrapbook of 2018 so I have that drive throughout this year to make as many positive memories as I can, after a particularly rubbish 2017. Even some of your bad memories can be made into something to laugh about - for example, I stuck my fail certificate for a driving test in my scrapbook, and wrote funny captions and annotations around it, so when I look back on it in the future, I can see it as something to laugh and joke about. 6. Look to your future. No one really knows what the future holds, but give yourself a faint plan to motivate yourself and work for it. When I think about my future, I like to think about university and how excited I am to experience true independence and live somewhere different hours and hours away. I also like to think of my career, because not even I know what it may bring of me, but I hope it will be something I love and most likely writing will be involved. I have started making a bucket list as well, adding in daring things such as visiting every capital city in Europe, and even farcical things like walking down a red carpet, so the suture then becomes something exciting and wondrous, not feared. 7. Distract yourself with more distractions... Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and build a love in a new set of hobbies and interests - find what is suited for you. Limiting yourself to the same old things will undoubtedly become boring after a while and then so, ineffective in providing you with that happy and distracting medium. Do something different every once in a while and add it to your list - make your list longer and longer and slowly see that thought disappear into that oblivion that was once impossible... Jem xx
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Jem DuttonStudent Blogger. Archives
April 2018
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